Confidence

What does confidence even mean? To me confidence means being able to be yourself. The fun goofy you at age six.

Some people are born with it, others are not. Some people maintain it throughout their life, some do not. Some never had any to begin with.

I fall somewhere in the middle. I was born as one of the most confident people in the world. I would walk up to strangers asking for money for candy. I asked a homeless person for a quarter for a gum-ball.. what was I thinking! You may see this as being really sad and asking how could you do this? Well I was super young and I clearly didn’t know any better. And looking back at it the fact that he could help someone out probably made his day! That feeling is tough to achieve when you don’t have anything to give.

As a child I was the loudest person in the room and I didn’t care what anybody thought.

The switch flipped.

I lost this fearlessness my senior year of high school. I became quiet and reserved. I started wearing girls clothing and I was awkward. I wasn’t comfortable. Prior to that to say I used to be a tom boy would be an understatement.

I now have started to gain my confidence back, facing my fears and approaching people. But for a few years that was really tough. I was embarrassed to ask questions and speak up. Now I understand where and when I can talk but I still tend to be quieter.. who knew..? Not me!

I still need to remind myself daily that it’s ok to be wrong. It’s ok to ask questions. And to laugh at myself when I’m embarrassed! It’s all a learning curve.

Speak up!

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